Your Heart Knows You Better Than You Know It
by Birgitta
Summary: This is a twist on the wellknown story of the sound of music. It starts at the night of the ball and continues from there.
1. Chapter 1: Do they know?

_Well as I think others have made pretty clear before me, we do not own "TSOM". This is just a story I wrote in for fun and in the lack of inspiration to my songwriting another inpiration came to me._

* * *

Why is it that sometimes you have to let others tell you what you really want? Why must you let others tell you what your heart really seeks? And why do you have to let them see you for what you really are and tell you what to do? I have not yet found an answer to this question. But maybe, someday, someone will. And until that day, I, and many others, have to wait.

* * *

The Captain stood in the middle of the ballroom. He couldn't understand what had happened to him. Well, he guessed he always had thought Maria was attractive, she had that twinkle in her eye that not every woman had. But after that dance, she had left him speechless. If the baroness hadn't said what she said, he properly hadn't moved. That second, all he wanted was just to stand there, look really deeply into Maria's eyes, and he could have told her everything he felt. And the funny thing was that she looked the same way, it didn't look like she really wanted to leave either. But she felt uncomfortable in front of Elsa and the children.

And now she was joining the party, Max had discovered his weakness. Seen that she didn't take no for an answer, and that he didn't really say no to her either. Now she was upstairs, getting dressed, he could not wait to see her again, see what kind of lovely dress she was wearing. The baroness was up there too. He wondered why.

"You are thinking of letting the children sing at the festival, Georg, I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it!" Max stood right behind him, and made the captain almost jump, being so into his own thoughts. He turned around and gave Max a sort of stiff smile "No Max, that wasn't what I was thinking about, in fact, I think I made that matter quite clear earlier."

" Oh… So tell me then, what were you thinking about?" Georg looked like he had seen a ghost. "Well I think that's kind of private, don't you Max?" Max grinned. "Maybe, but you know me Georg, I like knowing what people think. That's what's makeing life interesting, every single little disgusting detail. And besides, you looked so dreamy over here. So I got curious." Max smiled like he'd just uncovered the secrets of the universe. And Georg had to admit, he was onto something. Not that he thought Max had managed to put it all together yet, but he could.

"No, I was just thinking, about the party, the weather and about…" "About Maria?" Max didn't let him finish. Georg looked around quickly, like he was checking that no one else had paid attention. Then he turned to Max and looked just a little bit confused. "Now why exactly would I be thinking about Fräulein Maria?" Georg tried to look like he absolutely had no idea what Max was talking about, hoping he would fall for it. But he also kept his voice down so no one would hear it. "Now don't you play stupid, I know you know what I mean! But perhaps you want us to have this conversation into your office? That way no one can hear us" He winked at Georg like he said: I know that you are worried about that. "Okay, but I honestly don't think there's anything to discuss." Georg hadn't really decided yet if he was going to tell how he felt. So he thought he would give a diffuse answer.

* * *

"It was very kind of you to offer to help me, baroness" Maria said and looked at her. "But I really don't think I have anything that would be appropriate." She went on.

The Baroness stood there. Face to face with the woman her Captain loved, it made her sick of jealousy. She just didn't get it. It wasn't that this woman was more attractive then herself, she could see that... Well not that she wasn't attractive, it was just that she was more lady-like herself. SHE didn't run around in the hills, playing and singing. No, that was Maria. She couldn't understand how a man like Georg could fall in love with a woman like Maria. Maria didn't have the class she herself had. Well, maybe she hadn't really known what kind of man he was when she first met him.

After all, he had blossomed very much lately, and she knew the reason. The reason was Maria. She knew the good; even the proper thing to do here was to step aside. But would she be strong enough to do it? Would she just step aside and watch her man have someone else? She knew that she should, but would she? She had to make a last minute decision.

She was a baroness for Gods sake, baronesses never loose, or at least she didn't think so.

* * *

Georg and Max walked up the stairs. When they passed Maria's room Max noticed that Georg turned towards the door and tried to find a way to get a look inside the room, to see what was going on. As he couldn't, he turned to the hallway again, Max could see Georg was disappointed and it made him smile.

When they got to the office door, he turned to Georg and raised his eyebrows, "Now Georg, wouldn't you say it is highly impropriate to spy on a woman who is getting dressed?" Georg looked like he had just fallen down from the moon, and that made Max smile even more. "Eh, hum. Well I was just…" He didn't get the time to finish the sentence before Max interrupted him "You were just what?" "Well if you could just let me finish I might tell you!" He was clearly upset, Max grinned. "Go on." "Well I just wanted to check if everything was all right in there." Georg felt quite satisfied with his explanation, but he could see from Max's expression that he wasn't at all happy with it.

* * *

The baroness had come to a decision. She knew what she wanted to do. She had to putt that feeling of guilt she had aside, and just play by her own cards. This was about her, she didn't have to think about how her boyfriends children's governess felt. And she wanted to be the co-captain of this ship. No matter how she had to be to get there. She took a deep breath, it was time.

"Now where is that lovely little thing you were wearing the other evening, when the captain couldn't keep his eyes off you?" she turned towards the closet, opened it and found the dress. Maria couldn't believe what she just had heard the baroness say. And she turned towards the window to clear her mind and find a proper answer. It was no use, those six last words kind of stuck in her head. Couldn't keep his eyes off me? She said he couldn't keep his eyes off me! What could she say to that? She really hadn't got a clue. She decided that it was no use trying to figure it out, but something, something had to be said. "Couldn't keep his eyes off me?" She realized it wasn't at all what she wanted to say the second she did so. "Come, my dear, we are women. Then let's not pretend we don't know when a man notices us. Here we are" With these words she left Maria more confused than ever before.

"The captain notices everybody and everything!" Maria had turned to the window now. As longing for something to happen, something to let her run away.


	2. Chapter 2:What can one do?

_I do not own this, I simply enjoy playing with it. :P_

* * *

"And how could she not be all right in there? You do not suspect Elsa of trying to murder her do you?" This was meant as an absolute sarcastic comment from Max, but the captain seemed upset about it and didn't answer. Therefore Max tried to approach the matter a little bit differently.

"No I'm sure she is fine, that they both are for that matter, it is you that I'm worried about!" "Me?!" Georg practically yelled. "Yes, don't you see? You have this girlfriend, or what you would like to call it, but you're not in love with her. But Maria on the other hand, that's something else. You think you can hide it so well, but unfortunately for you Georg, I've always been able to see right through you." There was something very right in what Max was saying, but come on, since when could Max see right through him? That was just ridiculous. "Ha-ha, since when can you see right through me? Don't you think…?"

Once again Max stopped him in the middle of a sentence, "Since you started to open your heart again, since you met her. You haven't been like this since before you're wife died. You can't just let this go. As much as I really wanted you and Elsa married, I can't deny that I feel that this is much more right. You can't not tell her how you feel about her. You owe it to her as well as to youself." "So you mean?" Georg didn't know want kind of answer to expect, "Yes she is as crazy about you as you are about her."

A long wanted silence struck over the room. Georg did not really know what to think. He supposed, knew even, that deep down inside him he had grown a love for her that was only getting stronger every day. And now Max said she felt the same way, impossible! Or was it really? Now come to think of it, he had noticed her blushing rather a lot when she was around him lately.

She always seemed to be looking his way, and the minute he turned to face her she turned away. And sometimes, when she did not turn away in time, she could stare into his eyes for what seemed like minutes, hours even. He loved those moments. They often occurred at the dinner table, when she sat opposite him.

And as he was thinking of the dinner table, he remembered something else. That first night, when she got here, and sat on the pinecone. She surely didn't know it but he knew about it. Her cover-up rheumatism, she was really quick on that one he must say. She didn't know that the first thing he did as she had left the room with the children was to go her chair and look if he found something, something his children had put on the chair. And there it was, the pinecone. He might not even have gotten rid of it yet. It was just a too good story.

And, and, Georg didn't really think he had realised it before now, but that was probably the moment he started loving her. The moment he saw that this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And that above all reasons, was why a sertain pinecone now still lay safely in his sockdrawer.

* * *

"Oh, there is no need to feel so defensive Maria. You are quite attractive you know. The Captain would hardly be a man if he didn't notice you." Everythink was going exactly as Elsa had planned it. Her ability to know how certain people were sometimes surprised even herself. She was considered to be one of the smartest women in Vienna, and not without reason. 

And now she was about to get rid of the one think that stood it the way of herself and the man she loved. Or did she really love him? She liked him yes. He was really everything she could hope for, but did she love him? Was it that important? She had made up her mind anyway, and there was no going back now. Her love could grow, she knew it could. But this was the only way for it to happen. If she didn't do it now she would probably never get the change again. This could not be put on hold for her to see what was going to happen. She already knew it.

"Baroness I hope you're joking." It was the only thing she thought of saying. "No." Elsa did admire Marias innocence, she knew she would never try to steal away Georg, but she also knew that there were more change of Georg taking the matter into his own hands. Therefore she had to get rid of her.

"But I've never done a thing to..!" Maria practically jelled, as Elsa broke in to her sentence: "But you don't have to my dear. There is nothing more irresistible to a man than a woman who's in love with him." "In love with him?" Maria could not believe it, was it so obvious? "Off course. What makes it so nice is, he thinks he's in love with you" Elsa tried to stay as calm and controlled as she could. She could not lose this. Not now, not here, not ever.

* * *

A smile widened over Georg's face as he thought of her. But as quickly as he realised that he in fact was together with Max, and not alone, the smile froze into something quite stiff and unfriendly. "By all means, don't let me keep you from you're wonderful thoughts." Max said, as normal he had a sarcastic twist on it, "I would hate to be the one spoiling it." "I assure you, you did no such thing." Georg lied. 

"No look." Georg looked up in amazement, Max was using a voice, a tone of the voice, he had never ever heard him use before. It wasn't sarcastic, he didn't sound like the selfish man he was. He was just talking in a low calm voice, that made Georg realise that the man in front of him only tried to help him. That he only wanted to see him happy.

"I know as well as you that there is no use to keep fighting love. It will only end with both of you destroyed. But if you let go, tell her how you feel, you might, you will be a very happy man. You have become a changed man from the day you met her. You smile much more, you let people in. You're not on guard all the time. Love will always be a risk, but it is because of risks life is worth living, isn't it?"

* * *

Maria was in a really mixed sensation of happiness, sorrow, anger, fear and maybe love? She was angry at the baroness for doing this to her, why did she have to? At the moment Maria had been perfectly happy with her place in the Von Trapp-house. She had gotten to feel more and more for the Captain as the months went by, but she felt like she had it all under control. 

And then she was scared to death that it was like the baroness said, did he really know she was in love with him? How could she have let it happen? She had never been in love before, she didn't know the feeling before, so why should she be sure that this was it? To tell the absolute truth this probably was it. Because this was the first time she had ever felt this was. And that was what made her happy. She was in love and she had been told that the man she loved was in love with her as well. Then why did she feel so sad? Why did she feel like the only thing she wanted was to get out of there as fast as she could?

Maybe there were two reasons. She felt she had no right getting between two people, already together. And the second reason was God. It was God who sent her to them. And she was very sure God had not intended her to get a husband while staying there. A Husband. The word sounded so lovely in her mind. And yet she knew it was wrong.

"But that's not true!" she did not know what else to say. "Surely you've noticed the way he looks in to your eyes, and you know, you blushed n his arms on your dancing just now. Don't take it too hard. He should get over it soon enough I should think, men do you know."

Maria didn't think she got half of what the baroness told her. But she was sure of one thing. She had blushed in his arms. And he saw it. He knew. She felt so far away from him but still so close. They had, after all two completely different worlds. Why had she not seen this come? It was as if she had just been a bystander, watching herself letting him in. watching herself fall in love. She knew what she had to do. It would be fine, everything would be ok.


	3. Chapter 3: A disicion is made

_Still dont own this_

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"At least consider it. What have you got to lose anyway? For everyone's sake." With these words Max left the office, leaving Georg standing in the middle of the room alone. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Max was absolutely right. And if he was right about his feelings, could he be right about hers as well? He wanted to believe it, he wanted to believe it so badly.

He found it very strange that he, Captain Von Trapp himself, who had sailed the seas, been one of the bravest men in Austria, now felt so scared and insecure. After all it was not as if this was any more dangerous than the dangers of the sea. Or was it? It had been different with his late wife. They had got together with the intension of getting to know each other better and possibly get married. But Maria, Maria was his employee for Gods sake. This didn't just happen. He had never felt anything what so every for the previous governesses, so why did she come. Was this meant to be?

No. He did not believe in fate. At least he had never done so. Now he did not know. He did not really know anything. But there must have been a reason for this woman to get into his life, to change him completely and make him smile again. The question now was if it was merely for the sake of his children, or himself?

He saw it now. It could be both.

* * *

"Then I should go, I mustn't stay here" Elsa could not help feeling really happy as Maria said those words, but she could not give that away instead she tried to seem helpful "Is there something I can do to help?" She hoped there wasn't, she felt like going downstairs again, her job was done and perfectly so. "No nothing" Maria cried, but continued "Yes, please don't say a word about this to the captain." "No, no I wouldn't dream of it." Why the heavens should she, she didn't think he would me too happy if he knew she was the one that made her leave. "Goodbye Maria. I'm sure you'll make a very fine nun." 

She went out into the corridor. Slowly making her way down to the party, she spotted Max in a corner and went over to him. They both had a small grin on their faces, but no one of them had any idea why the other was so happy. If they had done so, they might not smile as widely anymore.

* * *

Georg sat stood in the middle of the office. His heart was beating so hard, he even did not hear the clock in the corner he usually got so annoyed of. He felt dizzy, in a strange way, as he wasn't really there. He's eyes had blackened, and for a minute he could only see the door, nothing else. And in the next second, everything was normal, as if it had never happened at all. 

Was it some kind of sign?

* * *

Maria sat down on her bed, was she really going to do this? Could she just leave them like that? She knew one thing for sure, she would miss them all, and, her heart took a leap, she would miss him the most. Every morning she had got out of bed, with a smile on her face wondering if he was still as dashingly handsome as she had thought him to be last night. And the truth was he only seemed to grow on her every day. She had sometimes been a bit worried where it all would end. How much could you love a man? Could you perhaps love him too much? Or maybe you had to love him too much in order for the love to survive. What did she know? This was new for her, a new feeling. She couldn't describe it. 

But if she must have it would have been with "wonderful".

Why was she fooling herself? It was no use. She had to go. There was no other way. She had to do what she knew to be right, to run away from her problems. It was all she had ever known to be the easy way out. She would be ok, really, she would. It was only going to be a matter of time before he was out of her head. All she had to do was to pray to God and ask Him to help her forget about the Captain. God would be good to her. He always had been. But one thing she was sure of, God had absolutely not sent her there to get a husband. He just couldn't have done.

She quickly got a pen and a paper, were she hastily wrote down something about missing the abbey too much, and therefore having to leave. She threw the things she had that were actually hers in the bag and closed it. After that she dressed herself in the dress she came to the villa dressed in. The children had many times asked her why she hadn't thrown it away, but she didn't really know. All she knew was that it was a really good thing she had it now. She opened her door in a hurry, and ran out. But when she was out in the hallway she bumped in to something that made her fall to the ground.

* * *

Georg had left his office. He couldn't stay up there to think all night. After all, he had hundreds of guests downstairs, and they had to be hungry. He was not. He had other things on his mind. And that, was the main reason he didn't notice a door open right beside him. And before he knew it, someone came out, bumping into him and fell to the ground. And when he saw who it was, he felt like his heart stopped beating. He opened his mouth widely, but did not realise that he did so. All he could do was to stare into her eyes, she looked so confused, and something was troubling her. He just couldn't say what it was. But after what seemed like minutes, he looked down from her face to her dress. And he noticed that it certainly wasn't the one she would pick out for the ball. And then in her hand he could see her bag. And the dress, wasn't it? Yes it was! It was the dress she wore the first time he had seen her. She had worn it at dinner too. Somehow he had grown a fondness for that dress. It was something about it that was so much Maria. 

And then it hit him, much harder and surprising than Maria had. She were leaving, he could see it now. She also looked like the last thing she wanted was to stay, why? Had Max been wrong? Didn't she love him? What was he to say to her? She clearly wasn't going to break the silence. So he had to.

* * *

As she fell to the ground, she saw him standing there. Why was she always so much out of luck? He was the last person she wanted to run into, and here he was. It wasn't that she wasn't glad to see him, in her heart she was very happy, but it was all so very wrong. She just couldn't. The thing that worried her mostly was that he surely wasn't just going to let her go without an explanation. She felt sure of that. Besides she was a very bad liar. What if he saw right through her? He probably would, she did not really want to go, but she had to. He would never understand. Especially if what the baroness said was true. If he loved her.

* * *

"You were not leaving?" The Captain finally found his voice."Yes, yes I was. I think it is for the best." It was all Maria could say. She didn't look at him, she didn't want him to see it in her eyes, that this was not what she wanted at all. 

"Well I don't think it's for the best really. Can I ask why?"

She just couldn't say anything to him about her feelings, and that was why. Now what was she going to say?


	4. Chapter 4: To muster the strength

_Ok. So I am really sorry for not writing untill now. I feel kind of bad about it but I just havn't found time. And as I got home today I thought I'd post the new chapter. Its not really that long so I hope I'm going to be able to write some more before it is schooltime again. The main reason I havn't written anything untill now is that I've been working on a bookproject. Well somthing like that, a crimenovel, and that is why I the time to write anything else has been pretty slim. But anyway, hope you'll enjoy this and not think it's too daft. I don't know how well I thought it turned out but I promise an inprove in the next chapter!_

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything.

* * *

"Well. I…" It was all she could say really. The thing was, she felt that she was about to cry too. And right now that and the shock was too much to deal with on its one, let alone the fact that she had to deal with everything else that was going on on top of this.

"Well what?" He tried to help her. If he only knew, he was making it so much worse. To hear his voice and seeing him was like torture. Well it was nice, more than nice actually, but it was a constant reminder of what she had to do. Which was to leave him, and never lay eyes on him again? It was too much, her tears began to fall. She didn't sob; her tears were quiet, but fast falling and many.

She felt him lift her to her feet and she did not protest. His soft hands on her shoulder as they walked back down the hall. "I think its best if we take this into my office." He said. "So you might get a change to calm down and say what's on your mind." She did not notice much, but what she did notice was that the last words he uttered somewhat nervous and different than his usual firm manner. He, who always was confident and stern, was now insecure and humble. Why was that?

* * *

Oh my God, how much more he wanted to lay his arms around her and tell her that it was all going to be ok. To kiss her, somehow he didn't think he had allowed himself the thought before but now it almost took all his strength to resist. He was also very confused. Why was she leaving? She had seemed happy enough last time he saw her and now she was reduced to tears. Something wasn't right. He would have to get it out of her. She had to tell him.

As he opened the door he made for her to go in before him. And when he was inside he closed the door and led her to a sofa in the corner. "Sit down please. So we may talk about this." She did as he said, except for the taking part. He would have to be the one to start.

"Let's see." He said as calmly as he could. "You were going to leave and I would like to know why." She looked at him briefly and then at the floor. "Captain, your guests, shouldn't you be at the party?" Her voice was sort of broken and not as it usually was and it broke his heart even more. "Damn the party!" He yelled, "You were leaving me and I want to know why you're leaving the man who loves you!" Leaving me… The man who loves you… He had made a slip of the tongue. It was no use trying to explain it away. He felt his cheeks blush like they had never done before. And as he felt her eyes on him it was his turn to look away.

He had passed the ball, and it was now in her court.

* * *

"W-w-what?" It was all she could say. Somehow she thought that she had stopped crying, but she was not sure. Could she have mistaken his words? Maybe it was a word that sounded very much like loves. Like doves. But no, that didn't make any sense at all. Why would he say something like "the man who doves you"? And leaving me, it was very strange if she had somehow made that up in her head too. And the way he looked right now. He knew what he had said and that made him look like she had never seen him before. Like a shy little schoolboy asking a girl out for the first time.

But who was she kidding? She had to leave, there was no other way. Wasn't it made quite clear that he intended to marry the baroness?

"But I must leave, I must leave you." She said somewhat confusedly.

* * *

He felt his inside burn as she said it. "But why? Why is it that you feel you have to? Is it really that horrible to live here or is it something else?" He managed to look at her again "You must tell me." He commanded as he looked her straight into her eyes. He was not embarrassed anymore. For he had realized that, he had nothing to lose. There was absolutely nothing that would hold him back from trying to get what he wanted. For if she left it would only mean the end of his heart. She would take his heart with her, and he had to live the rest of his life without it. If this was the last time he saw her. He would not think back on it and remember that he just let her go and not trying to obtain her.

He would not let her go. He could not let her go.

"You can't leave me. It would be crueler than killing me to do so, to suffocate me, slowly and painfully. You don't have the coldness to do that! I know you don't."

* * *

"Stop it! Just stop it!" How could he say those things? She did not want to leave him, but she would not stay and see him get married. That would be to suffocate her. "You are going to be married! You've been seeing the woman for God knows how long. You brought her home for God's sake. I know what that mean!"

"No I'm not going to marry Elsa. You should know that. Clearly you don't love me, or you would have known it!"

"But I do!" And that was when she realized how easy it was to make a slip of the tongue. She was leaving. It was what she intended to do, and yet her body didn't seem to be able muster the strength to stand up.


	5. Chapter 5: In a good way

_Thank you for reading. And for the comments. I made a slight change due to a commet I got today, and I had the time too. I thought I'd just put it up when I did last time so someone might read it if they wanted to do so early. But I think the chapter looks better now._

* * *

He looked at her, and she looked at him, but only for a fragment of a second. Then they both looked away, almost as if it was planned. They did not speak for a long time. Somehow the silence seamed to calm them both, give them the time they needed to think. It was quiet, but they could still hear the commotion from the party downstairs. Both of them felt like saying something, but none of them could. Maria heard the Captain make a weird sort of noise many times, but it never resulted in words. As for her, she couldn't think of anything proper to say. Was there anything proper to say? She didn't even know. After all, she was new to this sort of thing. It was Georg who had experience, but he didn't say anything either.

It was weird she thought, that just before the summer she had intended to live her whole live without a man. And she had not seemed to mind, but now everything was quite different. How could that be? She had been at the abbey for quite a while and not changed a bit. She had been here a short while and changed A LOT. She did not know why, but there was something about this man that made her almost stop breathing. But in a good way.

Just as the silence was beginning to feel slightly embracing and the captain had made that funny noise a bit too many times to be allowed. He turned to her. "Maria, I want you to…"

Bang! The office door shut open. He didn't even get to finish his sentence. Both of them turned automatically to the door. Luckily Maria had stopped crying some time ago and it did not show much anymore. She was thankful for that.

* * *

At the door there were three small girls. Gretl, Marta and Birgitta. The oldest looked like she might have some idea that they had got in on something big but the two other seemed ignorant. "The guests are making far too much noice, father." Said the youngest. "Yes, we simply can't go to sleep!" Finished Marta. Birgitta just looked like she wanted to leave. It had been her idea to go and talk to their father. She had heard him and Max go to the study some time ago, and thought it would be ok to come in. But she had clearly not heard that there had been a change of guests, and that now there were two very flushed people in front of them. She didn't think they knew they were flushed though. They had not bothered to try to hide it. She wondered what had happened.

"Yes, the party is just about to eat dinner. It will be quiet soon I promise." Georg smiled at his daughters. "So why are you here then father?" Gretl asked with a curious look. "Well you see I was only going to help Fräulein Maria to get dressed." Birgitta couldn't help herself, she let out a giggle. Maria turned away, looking even redder in the face then she had done before. "I-iii mean I wasn't going to help her. She just asked to help her pick out one for her." Georg felt he had given a great answer this time. Apparently, Martha did not. "And you chose that one?" She said, nodding over at Maria. He had quite forgotten what she was wearing, and that gray dress was hardly something to wear at a ball. "No we were not finished yet. Eh, but I'll try to make things a little bit calmer downstairs, so that you might get to sleep." "Well thank you father. We will go now. Good night." Birgitta felt it was time to leave. She could tell her sisters wanted to say something more but she gave them a stern look and nodded them out of the door. "Good night" Maria and Georg shouted after them.

Then there was silence again.

* * *

"What were you going to say?" Maria looked at Georg with evident questioning in her eyes. "I'll say if you promise not to leave." He wanted her to say it. He'd feel like he was safe then. He thought she looked torn in some way, but could not say why. "I can't promise that! I don't want to stay and see you getting married to the baroness. I couldn't do that, I simply couldn't!"

"Maria, why were you leaving tonight?" He asked her calmly, he didn't think she had quite finished, but if the only reason was this, there would not be any difficulties. And he added "I don't quite buy this thing about you missing the abbey too much. You've seemed perfectly happy here, now what is the matter?"

* * *

Maria drew a deep breath. Was she going to tell him? She couldn't do that. It would be cruel to the baroness too. "I'll tell you what" she said after a slight pause. "I'll promise not to leave straight away, if you'll go down to the party again to eat. We can talk when the guests have gone." This she felt was a very good proposition. Her head felt much clearer then it had some minutes ago. "Alright." Georg smiled, but then added "But you will have to come down too." She looked like she was going to object, he put his finger on her lips and said "Now don't argue. Max will be very disappointed if his dinnerpartner isn't there. You know he very rarely has one. Don't deprive him from the pleasure will you. And besides, how do I know wouldn't just leave while I'm at the table? Hmm?" She still looked like she was going to agrue, and this time he put his lips softly to hers. Then he backed away and said: "Now I think you should go and change. You must have something more suitable to wear. Don't get me wrong, I like that dress, but I would imagine I'm one of the few who does. I'll wait outside your door and escort you down myself. And I will carry you if to…" He added as an afterthought, because Maria showed all the signs of wanting to protest.

He had gotten his playfulness back too. It had not been too present in the last few years.

They both stood up and went out of the room.

* * *

"I think that lovely blue one would do." Georg said to her as she went in to her room. So he had noticed. Maria smiled to herself. There was no possibility of getting away now. She supposed the only way was if climbed out the window, and she tought she would have a little more difficulty with that then the children did.

And then there was the kiss. Quite sudden, not long and passionate, but frightfully exciting.

She guessed she would be staying a bit longer after all.


	6. Chapter 6: Fools rush in

_This may not be the funnest of chapters, but it is one none the less. I thought is best to put it in all though it's not that necessary. I've been working on 3 chapters this easter and I'm posting two today. I'm hoping to post the 3. one very soon. Also I would like to thank every one of you who's reading. Most of all for commenting and stuff, but also very much for beeing patient. I know it's usually very long between updates. So that was why I decided to write three new chapters over the holidays. and the 3. one is on it's way;)_

_Birgitta_

* * *

"Why did you drag us out of there?"

"Yeah! Why couldn't we stay? I wanted to speak to father!" The two youngest daughters of Captain Von Trapp rounded on their sister. As Birgitta had been the only one to detect something in their governess and fathers behaviours, Marta and Gretl were now quite cross about the fact that she had dragged them out of there.

"Sssh. Let me think." Birgitta said impatiently, half waving her sisters away with her left hand. Her mind was whirling, her father and Maria had seemed… …she didn't really know, at least not how to put it. There was just something strange. Something she felt like she should know the answer to, but didn't. She could practically hear he brain working. They had seemed really awkward. And flushed. But what did that mean? She did not think her father knew it, but the whole time they were in the room he was holding Marias hand, sort of stroking it unconsciously. And none of them had seemed to mind it, she would think, having once before caught her sister Liesl in the garden with her supposed big love Rolfe that they would pull away instantly, deny that anything had happened and make them swear not to tell anybody, which was what Liesl had done. But this seemed somewhat more complicated than that. Her head was thumping so hard that she started to wish she had not seen anything at all. She might have got a night of peaceful sleep then. She guessed it was true, only fools rush in. A knock might have been nice, but the partying people downstairs had really been bothering her and the two others. She could hear them now too. She guessed her father had yet to give his "Please lower the voices for the sake of my kids"-speech. The music had started again too. She guessed they had just resumed dancing in the absence of their host.

Dancing! "That's it!" It took a minute before she realized that she, in her excitement, had shouted the words out loud. And some seconds after that she also realized that her two sisters had followed her the entire time, but as they could not see her thoughts they were looking very confused. "What's it?" Marta asked tentatively, probably remembering the blow-off she and Gretl experienced before.

"Maria and father! They're in love!"

"What?!" The cry was unanimous. And the two small girls showed every sign of disbelief. Gretl was actually shaking her head. And Marta started getting to her feet mumbling something about asking their father about is.

"No wait." Birgitta said firmly to the both of them. "Just hear me out will you?" They both became quiet.

"Look, I've thought it thought. And the way they were acting just now and the way they were acting down at the party while they were dancing together, that's two people in love! I've seen it before, when Li…" She caught herself in time. She was about to mention the little meeting she had witnessed between Liesl and Rolfe this summer. It had been while the Captain still was in Wien and Maria had sent her out to look for Liesl. She had found her behind some trees dancing with Rolfe. And Liesl's reaction was almost identical to Maria's. Flushed cheeks and confusion. Of course Liesl had made Birgitta swear not to tell anyone so she could not explain it now. And let's face it; they probably would not believe her anyway. After all, they were much younger than her. This required expert help.

* * *

"Stay here." Birgitta got to her feet. "I'm going to go speak to Liesl."

On the way out she almost bumped into her father and Maria heading towards Marias room. She was almost sure they were bound to see her, but they didn't seem to notice. She hid herself behind a door and hoped they would not be too long. She heard her dad make some remark about a dress of hers. It was kind of strange, he sounded so different. She had never heard, or seen for that matter, him like this before. She had to be right. Standing where she stood she felt kind of nervous, but she didn't really know why. She started twinning her hair with absolutely no purpose. She had just a little glimpse of the scene outside in the corridor. Her father looked kind of impatient. "Are you sure you don't need any help? Maybe you don't know this, but I'm very good with dresses. World-class I would say." There was a reply, but Birgitta just heard a sort of murmur. But she saw her father give a sort of smirking smile and then say "Ok, but you know. If you don't get out here soon I'm going to take me up on my own word and go in and carry you down." The door opened and Maria stepped into the hallway. "You do no such thing!" She said and slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Your right, probably not a good very idea. It would leave me backbroken." He's tone was heavy with irony, She slapped him again, and said with a tone almost worthy of him "I am not that heavy, so I guess what you're suggesting is that you're not a man enough to lift a woman." He looked at her a little while before he made his reply. "Well let's find out then shall we?"

"No. We can't do that. And besides, we have a dinner to go to remember? The one downstairs with hundreds of people that you insisted I should join."

"Oh… That party. Well I guess you're right. Let's get down there. After you."

As they started walking down the hallway, Birgitta could see her father put his hand on the small of her back. Maria started a bit at the touch, but became at ease really soon. No one could deny it, something was up. It was ovious!


	7. Chapter 7: Sharing the secret

"Guess what! Guess what!" Birgitta shouted after running into her oldest sister's room.

Liesl had just fallen asleep, and was NOT very happy with her sister for waking her up.

"WHAT? What is it? For goodness sake, what part of sleeping didn't you understand?" She looked at her younger sister with a somewhat angry expression. Birgitta's face fell. "Oh. I didn't really think about that. You see I was so excited and just had to speak to you…" 

"Just say what it is, will you?" Liesl cut in. Birgitta got a sudden urge to tease her sister a bit more, and went for a totally new strategy. "It just might happen" She said with glee in her face, "that I know someone who's in love." Her singsong voice was starting to get to Liesl, who stood up and said "You promised to keep quiet about that!" Birgitta just smiled so Liesl continued, "I mean what do you really want from me, huh?" Birgitta pretended to get pulled out of her own thoughts by this, as if she had not really been paying her sister any attention. "Huh?, What?" 

When her older sister did not respond immediately she sat down and started singing pretty quietly "No one is as beautiful as you. No one is as pretty, as you always look to me. No one's eyes are glowing, like yours always does. No one is as beautiful as you."

"Ok, what do you want?"Liesl started getting slightly desperate. Birgitta turned around looking at her. "I don't want anything. But I think you'll be very interested to hear what I have to say none the less." And so she told her everything. All about the dance, the office and at last about the hallway. Liesl could hardly keep quiet. And at the end she was just as excited as her younger sister was. Birgitta found her a much better audience for this sort of thing than Marta and Gretl had been. At the end there was no doubt in Liesl's mind; they had to be in love.

"Have you told anyone else?" was one of the first sentences she managed to make, "I told Marta and Gretl, but you know them, they didn't believe me. Besides, I couldn't tell them about you and Rolfe could I? So my theory was slightly less convincing. Not that I think they would have believed me anyway…"

"No that's not really likely is it…" Liesl added as an afterthought. "So what do we do now? Tell them we know? How we, you found out?" She added after seeing the expression in Birgitta's face. Both girls sat in silence thinking for a while. What could they do really? Not that much. They could always burst into every bedroom to tell their siblings they knew something they didn't, but what purpose would that serve? To go down to the party and shout it to the whole room at large would certainly make some kind of drama, but why should they?

"I'll tell you what" Liesl started slowly. If we just go back to bed for now, we can just do something tomorrow. We'll sleep on it." Liesl went back to her bed and got under her covers. Birgitta had started opening the door, "Well then, good night Liesl" she said and stepped into the corridor. "Good night Birgitta, sweet dreams then." The door closed.

This needed thinking. Or did it? The idea popped into Liesls head from out of nowhere. Birgitta had really made her nervous just by implying things. And that was exactly what they were going to do to their father and governess. Liesl would take on the captain, she figured it would be best as she was the closest to him of the children, and Birgitta could talk to Maria. It would be perfect, and fun. The next day was going to be fun. As Liesl lay down she started singing low to herself. "Happy are they, lady'o'lady'lia, o'ladi'o'ladi'ey'oh'oh, soon their duet will become a trio, lady'odi'lady'odi'o."

She fell asleep with a smile on her face. Quite forgetting that there were two other houseguests in the house, and that at least one of them was there for similar reasons, marriage. 


	8. Chapter 8: A likely tale

_Thank you **ForeverJulie** for that review. It was very nice, and I'm glad you liked the chapters who were frankly not nececery. But they do give me much to build on though, which I hope I might be able to do. And so for this chapter. You guessed it, or at least you got your wish, it's from the party. Now you have to see that this was sort of the chapter I was going to write all along, but instead I started the two others as a sort of escaperoute from having to write this one. I had written a bit of it before I started the two previous, but not much. And now there's really not much more to say, well I hope you like it._

* * *

The look on Elsa's face as the captain came walking down the stairs escorting Maria was just priceless. The buzzing in the hall stopped for a moment, until one of the older gentleman suddenly said: "You certainly took your time. I hope you're not planning to starve us?" Georg cleared his throat. What was he going to say? _"Well you see Heinz, I just had to speak to my governess, whom I love, and make sure she would not leave me?"_ No that would not do… He felt like there was only one option; blaming it on the kids.

"Well you see Heinz, one of my children weren't feeling very well, nothing serious I can assure you, but none the less. I like to make sure they're all right. See, the governess and I sat down with her for a while until she felt a little better." Good one, he thought, "She's asleep now." He added as an afterthought in case some of the older ladies should start insisting they could look in on the child. "That's a likely tale" Max said under his breath, coursing one of the older ladies to ask him what he had said. "Oh I just said, eh, that I hope he read them a fairytale." The old lady smiled and nodded approvingly at this. "Well it's good to know that you take good care of your children Georg. The young ones are our future." Heinz said, putting the discussion to a definite stop.

Maria was very glad Georg had come up with a story so quickly. She did not like to be in everyone's spotlight, and now that the buzzing had resumed she wasn't anymore. Georg stared walking, which took her by surprise as she was in her own thoughts and had her arm still entwined with Georgs. He was walking over to the spot where Max stood. "Here is your dinner partner, Max. I feel sorry for her though. I know better than anybody that you're not the most pleasant man to have around when one's eating. Still I should warn you. Maria has this ritual she does when she sits down; it might frighten you just a bit. Sure scared the hell out of me the first time I witnessed it. Just watch out will you, and… …try to be pleasant will you. Now if you'll both excuse me I got to find MY dinner partner." He started walking away. But looked back once, to see Maria smiling at him. Max was also smiling; this was all leading up to a very special number on the Salzburg folk festival. He knew he could get them to do it if he had Maria on his team.

Both Maria and Georg tried not to look too much at each other during dinner, but it was very difficult not to. Georg got into a pattern which was very much noticed by Elsa, he would stare a bit second at Maria, then either notice Elsa watching him or just look away, and them quickly say "SO.." in a slightly more high-pitched voice than he usually had. Elsa would have found this amusing, had she not seen the danger of losing her man.

Maria, however, had a different approach. Every time she looked at Georg Max would clear his throat loudly and she would look down blushing. Max found this VERY amusing. He kept making suggestions for them to go outside, in the view that she seemed to be very warm. And now and then he shot in: "You are not ill? Should we perhaps ask the party at large if there is a doctor in the room? I know there is at least two or three. We should get a nice and proper examination of you." Maria then kept insisting that there was nothing wrong with her what so ever and that she certainly did not need a doctor. After some time Max could not resist himself to go farther, and said: "Well if you don't need fresh air, nor a doctor, then what's the matter? You keep getting redder in the face by the minute, why is that?"

* * *

Why was that? What should she tell him? "Well it's just…" Maria started.

"Yeees…" Max tried with a helping voice.

"You see it's just too many… …people. I'm not used to be around this many people. I'm just not used to it."

"No… Having been living in a convent I'm sure you're not used crowds…" Max replied in a sarcastic tone.

Maria looked so confused that Max felt rather sorry for her. "Don't worry." He said, "We'll say no more on the subject. For now." The last was added in a sort of whisper. Maria was not really sure whether or not she was meant to hear it. She was left to her own thoughts again, at least for a bit, and she was now wondering if Max knew, suspected or was on to something. He had kept doing this all night. And she was a terrible liar. Other than the small hints and questions he was likable enough as a dinner partner. He had seemed very interested in the past months she had spent with the children and their singing. And he had also talked and hinted very much about the Salzburg folk festival. She was not sure where he was going with that, but she had an idea.

The guests had started to move too. And she saw Georg and the baroness standing in the doorway to the hall saying goodbye to all of the people. Thank God she didn't need to do that at least. She was happier observing. Some took more time than others, talking and laughing until they realized that the people behind them were getting restless. Some merely nodded and walked past.

It was strange sitting here for her. She had after all tried to leave. She wondered what she had been doing if she hadn't stayed, if she in fact in this minute had been back at the abbey. Would she have been happy? Would the thought of her doing the right thing have satisfied her? She guessed she would never know, or at least not for some days. And what was going to happen? She was even excited about what might happen later that night.


	9. Chapter 9: Open air

_I don't own this._

_It's been years. Years gone by, and the story has sadly been forgotten and it hasn't been given what it deserves, which is an ending. I have been responsible for this neglect and it has not been fair. But a few years ago, I don't really think I knew where it was going, and now I think I do. I feel like it's been longer, not that it hasn't been a long time, but I feel like it was something I started years and years ago. This is what I have written today, and it might be a little bit different. But I hope it's O.K. _

_Love,  
Birgitta _

* * *

Bang! Waking with a start she realized, it had all been a dream, a wonderful dream that now seamed like a nightmare. Her insides feeling all dead and numb she looked towards the door. This was not the door of the Von Trapp house; this was the door of the convert she had wanted to go back to a day ago, and at this moment it was not the place she wanted to be.

She started crying, shaking in her bed. What had happened? Her happiness had turned into deep sorrow in minutes, making her hands cold as ice and her stomach turn. His voice, his face, everything had been so real. The touch of his lips, the memory was so strong, she could not have imagined it, because she didn't have the experience to know just how wonderful it would be.

The convent, stony and large was a place where God dwelled and made everything holy and good, it was God's home, but right now, this was her hell. No one, not even God could make this ok right now. She wanted to scream out loud and make everyone feel her misery, but her scream of misery only turned into a silent scream that no one could hear. The noise of her crying had died away as well. She could not utter a sound.

But she knew what she must do, her mind was clear, she had to go back, she had to tell him she loved him. It was the only option really, he would send her away again perhaps, but she had to take that risk, she knew that now. If she didn't… Well, if she didn't she knew she would certainly die in this very room, she would die with God by her side, but God would not show her any mercy, he would not ease her pain over the years, it would only grow stronger, and her mind would fade away until her body was the only thing present on earth, her mind would only be pain and anticipation of death. She would not kill herself, she did not have the will or strength for that, but she would remain amongst the living, just not as one of them.

No, she had to get out, had to leave, had to tell him that he was the only thing in the world she could not live without. Jumping out of the bed, she ran to the door and pulled it open, but in the other side there were bars, bars so thick she could not do anything about them. In her frustration she could hear someone, far away, but still in calling distance. She tried to call them, yell even, but the sound got muffled and it did not sound like anything at all.

She was frightened now. What if the Captain, Georg, was marrying the baroness at this very moment? She could never split up a marriage, which was beyond low. But she had to talk to him.

She ran to the window instead, she was desperate now, and to her relief it opened. There were no bars at the window, but it was so far down, too far down. She could feel the panic coming, but it never settled, her other senses was so much stronger, her only thought was of Georg, and getting out of the convent as quick as possible. She was desperate, and this was her only choice.

Desperate people do desperate things. She saw it now. It could be possible to climb down; there were plenty of things to hold on to. In her childhood she had used to climb a lot of mountains. And she did manage that quite well. This was different, but what choice did she have? The trick was to be very careful, and to not look down.

Sitting in the windowsill with both feet out in the open air there was no way back. At least she felt that way. Turning slowly around facing the wall she started, one foot at the time, slowly moving downwards. Her blood was rushing trough her body and she could feel her heart like she had never felt it before. This was something she had to do.

It happened very quickly. A calm voice on her ear, a voice she knew very well, but did not expect at all, the voice she was longing for. "Maria." She was sure, there was no doubt in her mind that that voice belonged to Georg. But she could not believe it. Was he here?

It was the confusion that made her turn her eyes to the ground, because she had to know for sure if he was there. It was also the thing that made her realize how very far she still had to go. What made her dizzy, and what made her see that no one was at the ground waiting for her. It was what made her lose her footing.

Falling, the sensation about it was trilling and terrifying at the same time, she was falling, falling, falling and gone.


	10. Chapter 10: The breeze from the window

_What do you mean by my next update? She died, end of story, this isn't House MD or Lost where people survive falls like that._

_Sorry, I had to, it kind of would have been fun to kill her, but in the ironic sense, and I don't think it would have suited the story, other than a very cheap and quick end. _

_I appreciate how you as the reader could be so nice about the fact that it's been so long. I'll try to update it more regularly._

_

* * *

_

He had only been passing, and would have done that, if it hadn't been for the fact that the room seamed quiet, too quiet for anyone to be in there. Of course, he wanted to see her, to look in on her, to be with her, but he would have waited, it would be the proper thing to do, he could have waited. Maybe it was an excuse, maybe even a bad one, but it made him uneasy, it was not like her. Not that she used to be noisy, but the room had a sort of empty feeling that he didn't like at all.

And as he opened the door, he discovered he was right, no one was in there. The only sound was the breeze from the open window. He started to panic now, had she left? After all that had been said and done lat night, she wouldn't just leave? Could it really have meant that little to her? But she must have gone out of the window, there was no other possibility, he would have heard her leaving by the door.

* * *

Everything was black. But she could not be dead could she, was this how being dead felt? Opening her eyes and feeling how tense she was, she understood. This wasn't heaven or hell. She wasn't dead; she wasn't even close to dying. The sudden wakening had been a shock to her, as only a fall in a dream can make you feel. Her dream had felt so real. Her nightmare had made her believe what wasn't true. She hadn't gone to the convent. How could she, after all that had been said and done?

But where was she? The darkness was so pressing that she couldn't see anything. Even though she knew she had been dreaming, her head was still dizzy from the fall. It feel like she had really just fallen 20 feet, but not in a bad way, she wasn't really hurt, the only feeling she had was the wind, as she fell trough the air. It was a wonderful feeling, or rather, it would be if one didn't know one was about to die. Now she knew she was O.K that was all gone, and the fantastic feeling was all she was left with.

But yet, there was something wrong, she didn't know where she was, and even though she wasn't really hurt, her senses told her she wasn't perfectly unharmed. Looking around she spotted the gazebo; she could just see it because of the white colour of the building and the light glow it emitted in the night. What was she doing here?

* * *

She couldn't have gone that far could she? Running everywhere he could think of the panic threatened to take over his mind. Well, he was panicking really, but he could think as a kind of rational man yet.

She must be somewhere, somewhere he hadn't looked. He knew she wasn't inside now. He'd never really thought it, but he felt he had to check. So she had to be outside of the house. Had she left for good? No, he did not want to believe it. He started to get nervous Elsa might have something to do with it. Even though Maria hadn't said it straight out, he knew that Elsa had something to do with Maria leaving in the first place. But she couldn't have done something twice? Not after he himself had sward he loved Maria, and she had seemed to feel likewise.

Starting to search the grounds, he hoped it would not take long until he found her. And that she had not done as his worst fears, and left the grounds for good.

* * *

What a wonderful night it had been. He had said that he loved her, really loved her. It wasn't just all in her heard. After all of the dinner guests had said goodbye and gone home, the Captain had walked over to her with something in his eyes that told her quite plainly that this discussion, or whatever it was, would not be over until he had won. The good thing was that she would win as well. Their goal was the same, and they would not make it alone.

They had been talking for an hour or so, and then decided to get to bed. She wouldn't be leaving after all; two people so much in love couldn't bear to be separated.

As he had walked her to her room, he had kept her closer than he used to and at the doorstep he was slightly hesitating before he bent down and kissed her. This was not a hurried kiss, or indeed a goodnight-kiss. This was so much more. This was the first day of spring were you start spotting green leafs on the trees. This was a warm beach with the hot seawater coming up to your knees now and then, and it was she and Georg, only as it should be. The moment could have lasted forever.

"I thought I just might find you here" Bringing her out of her thoughts she looked up to a slightly darker spot beside her head that was not the night air, that was so much more, the love of her life.

* * *

"Well, I've looked everywhere else, so this was my last option." He admitted with a smile. "But do tell me, what are you doing on the ground?" His relief made him sound almost as if all of this was amusing to him, and in some ways it was. The moment he spotted what he thought to be her besides the gazebo, all of his worries and troubles disappeared. His frustration and anger at not finding her were quite gone now; he longed only to look at her properly. But WHY was she out here?

"I don't really know. I guess I climbed out of my window and somehow ended up here. I think I'm slightly bleeding somewhere, but it's fine." She said, while trying to get up.

"So, you're so desperate to get away from me and this house, that you climb out the window to ensure that your absence isn't noticed?" He could joke about it now, because he knew it wasn't true. "That's utter nonsense and you know it! And besides, you found me didn't you? So it obviously wasn't that hard…" She had a quizzical look he could make out in the increasingly evaporating darkness. And thought not to press the point that he had been to her room, then franticly looked everywhere in desperation to find her.

They had gone into the gazebo now, and were sitting on the bench. For a long moment, no one said anything, the atmosphere was calming, but he felt a sudden urge to break it, it was not something he was in control of he had no idea what he was doing, and it was slightly frightening. It was like his body and mind was taken over by his heart, and his reason and sense did no longer count, this was what made sense now.

"Now that I've got you here, I thought I might ask, do you want to consider marrying me?" As he said it he went down on one knee.


End file.
